Sleep Training Vs. No Sleep Training - and Everything In Between
If you have come to this page to read this post, you have likely already heard or investigated the concept of “sleep training” and have questions. The choice is always yours if you wish to take the sleep training path with your family, just know that if “Cry it Out (CIO)” in any way does not feel right to you, there are other ways of optimizing your child’s sleep. I imagine if you are here, that you are looking to learn a little more about the approaches that currently exist.
Sometimes, there is a fear of using a no sleep training approach. When I speak with potential clients, often they share with me that they are afraid it will take too long, their medical professional recommended CIO or that it simply will not work. When I ask them why they think it will not work, they often start to share sleep training information/behavioral theory information with me. I can understand that, the sleep training voices are loud but there are other ways that, yes are different, but are also successful if not more so because they are sustainable for a family.
Holistic no sleep training approaches work well when you learn and lay the foundations early. When you do this, you are ensuring you have the capacity to help your child as they grow and change proactively as opposed to being so depleted and sleep deprived that you are made to feel CIO is the only way. This happens plenty of times, parents are told that sleep training/CIO is the only way they can get fast results and more sleep. They are also often told that though sleep training can be hard, it is the best thing to do for the parent’s emotional health regarding postpartum depression and anxiety. Clients have shared with me that they felt pressured into these approaches because of this messaging, and then had to stop because it was not what they wanted and exacerbated their anxiety. If this sounds like you, know that there are other ways of working with your child’s sleep.
In an unregulated field (such as sleep consulting) there are no designated titles and words can be used in different ways. The variation exists in the professional titles as well: Coach, Consultant, Educator, Specialist etc. There is also a vast difference in background, education, and experience. I have also had parents come to me and share that they thought a sleep program was different only to find out that it was a variation of CIO. If you are looking for someone to work with, you will want to understand their background and their approach to ensure they are the right fit for you.
Here is a short summary of the different types of sleep approaches that currently exist ( please note there are variations of each):
Sleep Training - The use of “Cry It Out” as well as Extinction (the child is left in the crib all night; parents only go in to clean up any messes). Child is left to cry alone for a set period time set out by a plan. Sometimes all sleep associations are taken away at the start of the process. There is a set plan and often little to no room for deviation from it. Parents are sometimes given a time limit of how long they can comfort their child ( example: only one minute and then leave, only pick up if necessary for no more than 30 seconds).
Gentle Sleep Training – The parent is often limited in the way they are to respond to their crying child. This approach is considered “gentle” in comparison to Cry it Out and Extinction but still has roots in sleep training. Sometimes all sleep associations are taken away at the start of the process. There is a set plan and there may be some room for deviation from the plan.
No Sleep Training – Zero use of any behavioral methods which include: controlled crying, controlled comfort, timed/cued comfort, separation based techniques, crying alone and withdrawal of comfort prior to the child’s readiness. No set plan, very individualized and has an organic flow.
Holistic – The consultant looks at several factors that may be presenting a barrier to a child’s sleep before starting official sleep work with one of the methods above. The term “Holistic” of itself does not indicate “no sleep training”.
Note: A sleep trainer can have a holistic approach and still provide a Cry it Out method. Also, "Holistic Gentle Sleep Work"– does not necessarily mean no sleep training. It can mean a holistic assessment with a modified behavioral method to work with sleep.
On a final note, it is important to do your research and makes some phone calls to learn which approach is being used before you sign up. It can be devastating for a family to learn they are not comfortable with the approach being used but cannot get a refund. There are many ways to work with your child’s sleep – if you do not wish to sleep train, you do not have to.
In Wellness,