The Pillars of Wellness For Optimal Sleep
We lead busy lives.
We often don’t even realize how busy we are, until we either fall ill or a loved one says we are never present (present and absent are two different things. We can be right beside someone and not be present in the moment). In societies where productivity is prioritized and rewarded over wellness, it is so easy to get caught up in that busy lifestyle. For many of us, success is measured by that busyness, not overall wellness.
Many of us live in our head more than we live in our body.
In other cultures of the world, rest and wellness is prioritized over work/productivity. The full-time work week spread over 4 days, daytime adult naps are normal, and shops shut down to support it. People sit down and enjoyed their food (while we eat when working standing up, or driving) , they sit in coffee shops to enjoy an espresso ( while we grab our coffee to go), they take the whole morning to make a trip to the bank, while we use e transfers from our phones. Is our society more convenient? Perhaps, but what are we using the extra time for? Is it to support balance in our life or to do more work?
Why such a difference? Many reasons, I assume. One that sticks out to me though is the subliminal messaging we receive that we are not enough and need to do more/get more/be more. That our success and worth is directly linked to the size of our house, our bank account bottom line, the school our children attend, the cars we drive or the work titles we hold. Are you someone that, with a larger salary would save and pay off what you have, or would you upsize everything in your life and even take out further loans? The taste of money can be addictive to some. The root reason for that is a deep one and a post for another day. However, money doesn’t buy time or support wellness unless you use it intentionally for such.
For true health and wellness, mind and body cannot be treated separately. We cannot ignore the need for rest, connection, proper nourishment, and exercise to continue clocking in hours at work. I hear so many adults say they will live their best life when they retire, except what if you don’t make it to those years? My father didn’t, he passed 2 months after he turned 60. Why are we deferring joy, time, connection with loved ones and wellness by decades when we should be seeking a reasonable balance now? Because that is the messaging we receive – everything is to be separate, we work hard to 65 years of age and then enjoy life. Except for so many of us there is a fear that there will not be enough money to live happily after 65 years, so we work harder and longer – and for many retirement at 65 years is not even possible. Working until 70 or older has now even become normalized in some societies. Working for enjoyment is one thing, but working to survive is quite another – how is one to “enjoy retirement” if they need to work to survive well into their 70’s?
In holistic health we understand that all pieces of us are connected and for optimal wellness, need to work in harmony. For example, the health of our gut is connected to the health of our mind – it is not gut and then the mind. We cannot treat one symptom or organ while ignoring the rest of the person. It doesn’t work well, and there are many cultures that know this. For example, your school age child is not sleeping well at night, perhaps they wake frequently at night or early in the morning, have night terrors or nightmares regularly. You are advised to give your child melatonin. Now, melatonin is a supplement but is also a hormone. It is naturally produced in our body and unless your child has a medical reason for not producing sufficient melatonin to justify needing a supplement, they likely do not need the supplement. Truth is, there is currently not enough research to even say if it is safe to give children melatonin or even what dose or even for how long. There are even side effects associated with giving children melatonin – quick google search of “is melatonin safe for children” will pull up quite a bit of information.
Back to the example, many parents do try melatonin for their child and then report that it doesn’t work after a few nights. I expect this to happen, because the issue (unless there is a medical condition) is not lack of melatonin – it has to do with other areas of wellness.
What Are The Pillars of Of Wellness?
Physical Pillar - includes such things as healthy eating, nutrition, preventative care, exercise, and sleep.
Emotional Pillar- includes such things as self-regulation, connecting with others, self-esteem and confidence, peer acceptance, perceived safety and security, gratitude, and healthy coping strategies.
Social Pillar- includes trusted and warm relationships, sense of belonging, conflict management and resolution.
Intellectual - includes developing and expanding knowledge, learning, schoolwork, personal interests and making goals.
When I work with school age children who are struggling with sleep, I am looking at the pillars of wellness in their life – what is happening that is affecting their sleep?
- Are they physically active?
- Are they eating healthy? What is their sugar intake like?
- How are things at school with their peers? Do they have a few close and good friends that they have fun with? Are they being mocked or bullied?
- Do they feel safe at home? Are they close to their parents? Do they reconnect with their parents at the end of the day?
- How are they doing with schoolwork? Is learning hard for them? Do they feel confident at school?
- Are they overscheduled with activities? Do they have any down time at home to just rest?
- How much screen time do they get? Do they play video games and if yes, how often, how long and what type?
- Does the family lead a busy life? Do they value sleep? Do they role model healthy sleep hygiene?
After a full investigation of the pillars, I provide recommendations for areas that show room for optimization as well as sleep recommendations. Recommending melatonin is an attempt to just treat sleep, but the quality of sleep is directly related to the quality of our health – in every pillar. Just trying to work with sleep, may yield some results short term but often it is not sustainable.
Investigating the pillars of wellness allows us to pour time and attention to the areas that are lacking. We are balanced and healthy when all areas are optimized. We face challenges when an aspect of a pillar (or entire pillar area) is lacking. How would our lives look like if we never focused on physical health, or emotional wellness or our social connections? Look at the past 2 years of this pandemic and lockdown phases, what did that do to people? Social connection is a need for humans, we are not meant to be isolated and reliant on screens to speak to other humans. We need human touch, connection, laughter, and love. Work can certainly add to our wellness and sense of purpose but it should not be our only sense of purpose or the reason our wellness diminishes.
It is time to get back to basics and give some love to all the areas of health and wellness so we can live our happiest and healthiest lives.
In Wellness,